Nostalgia

I'll elaborate on what happened before the point I arrived in Paris later, but at least when I first arrived everything was fine. I found another Uchicago kid and we started on our way out. That's when the problems began.

I didn't have enough change for the RER ticket, so had to go find where to get that - this was the start of me feeling worthless with French people. Then we took the RER but it didn't stop at our station...so we walked at least a mile...in the wrong direction. Up and down stairs. Up and down stairs. Dragging and carrying a 50lb suitcase and having at least 30lbs on my back all the while. Getting lost, having the coordinator not help us at all over the phone, but then finally finding our way, after walking for at least an hour or so. And then the elevator wouldn't work at the building so I had to carry everything upstairs AGAIN.

Hopefully everything will get better but right now I feel nothing better than defeated. I feel so wrong here and I keep asking myself why the hell I did this. Why I left such a good thing at home for this. Maybe it's just because I've only slept about an hour the last day and a half...

I'm just going to unpack, get clean, and maybe lay down and see if I can shake this off. Yet just being at a UChicago headquarters makes me want to be back at real school, with a community were I feel valuable and loved, and with all the support I need.

I guess I'm not ready for Paris quite yet.